


men

by The_Empress_of_Everything



Category: Bleach
Genre: F/M, Ichiruki, IshiHime - Freeform, Oi, Original Child Characters, also poor Renji, second Bleach fic and it's like this, stop fighting over your kids, there's a reason why Rukia and Orihime don't let Ichigo and Uryu drink together, they're all great, they're drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-08
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-08-07 11:57:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7714003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Empress_of_Everything/pseuds/The_Empress_of_Everything
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was a reason Ichigo and Uryu were rarely allowed to be alone with sake together. Their wives had simply lost interest in cleaning up the mess afterwords.</p>
            </blockquote>





	men

“My daughter is better than yours!”

“That’s not possible! Mine is twice as better as any daughter of yours ever could be!”

“Not possible! Tanama is more beautiful and talented and stronger and braver and more powerful than your daughter! Plus I have more than one daughter which is more than you have! So there, Uryu!”

“At least my daughter got her brains from both her parents, not just one of them!” Uryu’s face was flushed bright red, uncharacteristically, as he stabbed a finger into Ichigo’s equally flushed face. 

What had started out as a night of reminiscing over a bottle or three of sake had turned into a pissing contest, with both men bringing up old dirt to fling in each other’s faces. Decades of battles won and lost were rehashed, enemy take-down counts redone and disputed over as if they were still a threat. Scars were exposed and counted. Ichigo even went so far as to bring up their original duel, back in a long gone time when Uryu used to hate Ichigo. Uryu had shoved up his glasses and pretended to ignore him. At least, until a stupid antic of Ichigo’s from his early Soul Reaper days crossed his mind and they were off again.

How it had devolved into a comparison of their daughters ( _who they were both stupidly proud of_ ) neither would ever know. They were too far gone anyway. 

The daughters in question were drawn to the ruckus in the rarely used office of the Kurosaki household and poked their heads in to see what was going on. Chishiro and Tanama stared at their fathers, utterly horrified by the change sake had wrought on them. Uryu’s glasses had nearly fallen off, his hair was in disarray, and his face was the color of Captain Commander Kyōraku’s kimono as he shouted obscenities at Ichigo. Ichigo’s face was also flushed and his still vibrant hair had become even fluffier, poofing up like it did when he was drunk or angry or a combination thereof.  

Rukia Kurosaki and Orihime Ishida, having followed the noise, merely shook their heads and moved to help their now quietly sobbing drunk husbands. They were well used to caring for the idiots after years of marriage. Over their other halves’ heads, Rukia and Orihime exchanged exasperated looks while their daughters slowly, slowly backed out of the room and bolted away from the weirdness of their parents. 

“Men,” Orihime sighed and Rukia just nodded. She knew exactly what Orihime meant. With a small grunt, she hauled the near dead weight of her husband upright. There was a reason Ichigo and Uryu were rarely allowed to be alone with sake together. Their wives had simply lost interest in cleaning up the mess afterwords. As Orihime dragged Uryu away, the Quincy turned and flipped Ichigo off with a smirk. The Soul Reaper didn’t notice. He was too busy trying to cuddle his tiny wife who was growing increasingly irritated with her inebriated spouse.

It was going to be a long night…

* * *

Renji sighed from his place in the corner. “Yep, looks like they forgot about me,” he grumbled, grabbing the bottle of sake. Oh well, at least he would finally get some peace and quiet.


End file.
